


one taste (and you'll be mine)

by transit (dollyeo)



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Magic School, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-29 18:16:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12636534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dollyeo/pseuds/transit
Summary: Junhui never asked to be the unwitting third party in the clusterfuck called Minghao's attempts at courting Soonyoung. It's honestly theworst.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [serenitea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/serenitea/gifts).



> this is what happens when you listen to black magic on loop and throw away any semblance of plot \o/
> 
> @serenitea posting this in two parts, but here's the first half for your reading pleasure (I hope, uehehe) *3* enjoy!

"Wen Junhui," says Soonyoung, very slowly, "what the fuck?"

"I can explain," says Junhui, holding his hands up. Minghao squawks and shoves his face away, like he's been burnt. " _Oof_."

" _You_ —" Minghao splutters, watching Soonyoung's crinkly-eyed smile morph and melt back into Junhui's impossibly wide ones. " _He_ —"

"His idea," says Junhui, weakly, pointing at Soonyoung. "Not mine."

Minghao makes a dying, croaking noise in his throat, like he wants the earth to swallow him up. Considering he almost kissed Junhui on the mouth not a few seconds ago, Junhui feels the same way too.

" _What are you doing_ ," Minghao screeches, looking so flustered Junhui's more than a little concerned he might combust and possibly turn the brunt edge of his wand at Junhui in terrible, terrible ways.

"What are _you_ doing," Junhui wails. "I thought you said you were keeping it PG-13!"

"I'm still very confused here," says Soonyoung, scratching his head. He squints down at Minghao, who's still red in the face, equal parts fury, indignation and embarrassment rolled into one. "What were you trying to do to me— I mean, him? Is this some kind of new magic-sucking ritual?"

Junhui closes his eyes and thinks that if there's any kind of time magic that could spontaneously send him to a different dimension, now would be a great time for it, thanks.

This is all Soonyoung's fucking fault, he decides. He hopes Minghao comes to the same conclusion, too.

"I tried to warn you," says Junhui, despondently. "I really, _really_ did."

 

 

**how it started:**

 

 

"I think someone put a curse on me."

Junhui ducks his head out of the shower stall, hair sopping wet and sticking to his neck. There are soap suds all over his cheeks and shoulders, but it doesn't stop him from pushing the shower curtains back and stepping out in all his naked glory, the draft from the opened door where Soonyoung's standing in making him wince.

"Who did what now?" Junhui repeats.

"A _hex_ , Wen Junhui," says Soonyoung, temper fraying at the edges as he snaps his fingers. "Pay more attention!"

"Can we do this later," Junhui wonders. "Preferably when I'm not freezing my ass off after you've just invaded my personal space?" He squints at the door, still ajar. "Didn't I lock that earlier?"

"I'm in a potentially life-threatening situation and all you care about is your nether regions getting cold," wails Soonyoung. He takes a step forward, grabbing at Junhui's arm to drag him out of the shower, suds and all. "Come on, you _have_ to fix this. You're the only one he even listens to."

Junhui sighs, closing his eyes. He's tempted to go back to the heat and comfort offered by the near-scalding water, but Soonyoung's looking a little flushed and close to puking his guts out. Junhui's already going through a mental checklist of everything that could possibly be wrong with him— food poisoning? A nasty allergy? Maybe a potion gone wrong? — but Soonyoung looks far from peaky for it to be anything dangerous or requiring a quick trip to the healer. No one dead or dying, at least. Junhui's nothing if not an optimist.

Still, the grip on his arm is tight, brooking no escape. "At least let me have five more minutes," says Junhui, mournfully. "I'm getting soap in my eyes."

"No time," says Soonyoung. "There are more important things in life than getting your dick wet, Junhui."

"Debatable," Junhui mutters, but lets himself get dragged out anyway. Sometimes, being friends with Soonyoung is a challenge by itself, but it's doing wonders to help Junhui coast through meditation spells without having to listen to the professor much; god only knows patience is the most valuable thing in the world when Junhui gets woken up at inconvenient times because of Soonyoung's harebrained schemes.

At least Soonyoung has the foresight to get him tea and a spare set of clothes, if only as a consolation. The cleaning spell almost backfires horribly, but Junhui has enough presence of mind to bat Soonyoung's fingers away from his wand before he does something dangerous like magically make Junhui's dick disappear (It's happened once, before— don't ask). It doesn’t explain why, exactly, they're both hiding behind one of the trees rumored to be infested with all the slugs Professor Lee uses as ingredients for his more potent mutation potions, but Junhui just sighs yet again and sips his tea in silence.

Well, mostly in silence. His eyes flicker over to one of the flying specks of color in the distance, where he can see a few recognizable faces from a year lower perched atop their brooms. He lights up at the sight of one of them, and he raises his hand as a greeting. "Hey, isn't that Minghao—"

Soonyoung's ensuing squawk and dive at Junhui's body would have made Junhui more impressed, if it didn’t mean that he'd end up nearly eating dirt and grass after getting knocked over. "Shhhhhh," Soonyoung hisses, palm covering Junhui's mouth. Junhui has half the mind to listen to Jihoon and bite down on Soonyoung's palm, just so he could breathe. "You'll give us away!"

"Give what away," Junhui asks, incredulously. The tea in his hands is spilled all over the ground by now, a lost cause. "It's just Minghao and his classmates—"

" _Exactly_ ," says Soonyoung, through narrowed eyes. Junhui's not proud to admit that it takes him a while to connect the dots together, but it's then that it clicks into place in his mind, and he almost wants to bash his head against the tree for it.

" _Really_?" Junhui asks. He can't believe he let himself get pulled out of a long, lazy shower (and hogging all the hot water, he adds) just for this. Sometimes, he really wonders why he doesn't listen to Jihoon enough when he contemplates strangling Soonyoung in his sleep. "You think _Minghao_ put a curse on you?"

"I don't _think_ it," says Soonyoung. The irony gods must be laughing on the floor by now. "I _know_ it."

"Listen," says Junhui, seriously. "I know that hanging out with Wonwoo has given you all sorts of paranoia on a daily basis, but we really need to talk about what you think innocent underclassmen are capable of doing versus what they can actually do."

"He put Seokmin and Seungkwan under a silencing spell for an entire day," Soonyoung points out. "Those two _never_ shut up."

"To be fair, they really _do_ have big mouths." They were also dangerously close to slipping up the biggest open secret anyone with a pair of eyes and ears in the school was privy to, and it was this: that Xu Minghao's had the biggest, dumbest crush on Soonyoung ever since freshman year, even if none of them could legitimately understand why.

It's a secret Junhui's going to take with him to his grave, if only because Minghao's threatened him under pain of death more than once to never spill to Soonyoung. Knowing too many secrets is a struggle. Knowing them when one of the parties involved is an oblivious idiot is an even greater one.

"And besides," says Junhui, "what could you have possibly done lately to warrant getting cursed?"

"You don't understand," Soonyoung wails. "He _hates_ me. Just last week, he kept looking at me like he wanted to stomp me under his foot."

"That's because you were teasing him about dating one of the older girls in our grade," is what Junhui says. What he doesn't say is: _and it kinda broke his heart a little when you did that, way to go, Kwon Soonyoung_. "What did you say the curse was again?"

Soonyoung mutters something under his breath, something Junhui has to strain to even catch. Junhui stills in place, wondering how and why this is his life again.

"I'm sorry," says Junhui. "But did you just say that you think Minghao—"

"Slipped a love potion in my drink," says Soonyoung, ears heating up. He has to yank his beanie down over his ears to cover how red they are; It's something Minghao's always found cute about him, to the point that Junhui's already memorized the awkward, roundabout way Minghao compliments how _dumb he looks when he does it, jeeze, I just want to_ bite _him, hyung—_ and yeah, uh, no, Junhui's not gonna go down that route, thanks. "Don't make me say it again!"

"First of all, love potions aren't a curse," says Junhui. "Second, what makes you think he can even do that?"

"I wouldn't put it past that brat," says Soonyoung. "You know how weirdly competitive he gets about everything."

 _Only around you_ , Junhui thinks. He looks at Soonyoung's white-knuckled grip around his robe, and thinks better of it before Soonyoung thinks it would be a great idea to latch onto him instead and cut off his air circulation. Forever.

"Still impossible," says Junhui. "Minghao doesn't even get good grades in potions class."

"Yeah, but he's friends with Mingyu," says Soonyoung. "He could have gotten him to make one."

"I don't think Minghao would even stoop so low as to resort to love potions," says Junhui. At least, not yet.

"He could have!" Soonyoung retorts. "It would have been good for a joke!"

Because of course a joke is the main reason anyone would even use a love potion for. Junhui thinks of himself as a good person, a great friend, but there are times when his friends say really stupid things that make him question his relationship with them and this is one of those times. Every day is a test of willpower and fortitude.

"Not everyone is you, Soonyoung." Junhui says. Logic, Soonyoung's not exactly known for it, and he's a proficient wizard-in-training in his own right. Sometimes, it's the prodigies that end up being complete dumbasses when it comes to reality and common sense. "How did you even jump to _that_ conclusion?"

"I've checked off on all the signs," Soonyoung insists. He cups his face with his palms, as if that would even stop him from feeling the force of Junhui's judgment. "It's the only explanation for why I suddenly find him attractive."

"Lots of people find Minghao attractive," says Junhui.

"Lots of people are also stupid," says Soonyoung.

"I agree," says Junhui, dryly, as he stares at Soonyoung. Unfortunately, Soonyoung doesn't seem to get the memo, too lost in his self-absorption to even register anything else. He just keeps going.

"Every time I look at him, my palms get really sweaty, my face heats up, my heart starts thumping really quickly, and my mind just goes blank," Soonyoung moans, keeping his face hidden behind his hands. "I feel like throwing up."

Yes, because nothing screams I love you like wanting to vomit the minute you see someone's face, Junhui figures.

"I think that's called a crush," says Junhui.

"No," says Soonyoung, "it's a curse, I'm sure of it."

"Soonyoung," says Junhui, slowly, like he's speaking to a child. "I get that you're a very repressed person—"

"I'm a late bloomer, _shut up_."

"— but don't you think this is taking it a little too far?" He continues, ignoring Soonyoung's sulking pout. "Is it so bad to admit you have a crush on him?"

"I don't have crushes on _juniors_ ," says Soonyoung, scathing, as if he were eons older and didn't just come from feeling like he knew everything in the world just last year, at Minghao's age. He still hasn't outgrown that phase either, to be honest. "What's next, I'm gonna find _Chan_ hot?"

"Well," says Junhui, delicately, "some people say you two look like each other..." Soonyoung gives him an icy look, and Junhui shuts that line of thought down and backtracks. "But yeah! Underclassmen are jailbait and gross, right?"

"Right," says Soonyoung, nodding gravely. "So you can see why Minghao and I can never date."

"Who said anything about dating?"

"No one," says Soonyoung, turning pink. "Fuck off."

Denial. It's not just a river, Junhui guesses. He shelves that thought away, maybe if Junhui and Wonwoo want to laugh their asses off at Soonyoung in the future. In the meantime, he'll try to be as helpful as he can possibly be to Soonyoung's (admittedly dumb) internal conflict. He's nothing if not a supportive friend.

"Last time I checked, love potions made people want to climb the other person like a tree." Soonyoung goes strangely silent. "Oh my god, are you confessing to wanting to _attack_ Minghao—"

"I can't help it!" Soonyoung wails. "I'm a teenage boy. I can't be held liable for my own thoughts, _especially_ when I'm under the influence of illegal magic!"

"Clearly," says Junhui, hoping the sarcasm drips so hard it makes Soonyoung feel ashamed of himself. "Because there's no way you'd be in love with him otherwise."

It doesn't work. "It's the love potion," Soonyoung decides, nodding. Junhui just wants to roll his eyes so hard. "That must be the only explanation."

Junhui actually ends up hitting his forehead against the tree trunk, rumored slugs and all. "How," Junhui wonders aloud. "How am I friends with you again."

"You're a very lucky person," says Soonyoung.

"Say one more thing and I'll drag Minghao over here, just wait," Junhui threatens.

Soonyoung finally shuts up.

 

 

Minghao ends up walking up to them after his class ends, and Soonyoung looks at Junhui with utter betrayal in his face before he lets out a stuttering excuse and scurries away, presumably to glare at them from a distance and maybe whine about everything to Wonwoo and Jihoon. Minghao and Junhui watch him go with not a little confusion (Minghao) and exasperation (Junhui) at the sight. "Soonyoung's really weird," says Minghao.

Junhui wishes he could say this is the first time he's had this conversation with Minghao, but it’s really, really not. "Call him your hyung, brat," says Junhui. Minghao just looks at his nails, fingers curled around his broomstick.

"It's practice," says Minghao, coyly, and smirks at Junhui's perplexed face when he clarifies: "For when we start going out."

That thing about wanting to barf in Minghao's face that Soonyoung feels? Suddenly, Junhui can commiserate, except in the non-heart fluttering kind, mostly the stomach-churning and pained gagging part. Gross.

" _If_ that even happens," says Junhui. "He can't even stay within a foot of you without running away anymore."

"That's great, actually," says Minghao, not even looking the least bit upset. "That only means he's getting more self-conscious around me."

"He thinks you got Mingyu to make a love potion and drugged his food with it," says Junhui.

"Even better," says Minghao. "Saves me the time and effort to convince him to give it a shot. Do you think he'd be okay with putting out on the first date?"

"Wow," says Junhui. "I take it back. You're actually an asshole. Congratulations, you two deserve each other."

"You should really start buttering him up and help me out, hyung," says Minghao, with the faintest of pouts. When he was younger and much shorter than Junhui, it had been impossibly precocious and adorable, but after years of getting to know all the evil, perverted things that actually cross Minghao's brain, Junhui doesn't trust that face anymore, no. "Aren't you my friend?"

"I'm his friend too, you know," says Junhui, dryly. "What makes you think I want you to sink your teeth into him?"

"You've known me longer," says Minghao. "You should be taking my side."

"Suddenly I'm not so sure Soonyoung's not being delusional," says Junhui. " _Did_ you get Mingyu to make a love potion?"

" _Please_ ," Minghao scoffs. "You have so little faith in my charms."

Junhui almost heaves a sigh of relief. At least, until Minghao purses his lips and continues. "Now that you've mentioned it, maybe I _should_ consider it as a back-up plan."

"Oh god," says Junhui. Sometimes he wishes he could unhear everything, especially when he has to see Minghao on a near-daily basis. "Can you not? I'm seriously gonna throw up."

"And you call yourself a romantic," says Minghao, shaking his head.

"You used to be so cute when you were a baby," says Junhui. "Where did that kid go?"

"You met me when I was seven years old," says Minghao.

"Still a baby," Junhui bemoans. "You'll always be a tiny kid in my eyes, clinging onto my shirt and trailing after me like a puppy. Next thing I know, you've traded me for Soonyoung, and he doesn't even give you any hugs and kisses."

"Well, that kid is dead," says Minghao. "And your idea of affection is just gross."

"If only Soonyoung could see this side of you now," says Junhui. "I'll make sure to let him know you think PDA is the worst thing on earth."

Minghao shoots him a warning glare, and gives him a painful pinch on his side. One of the things Junhui likes to make fun of him for is how he's all praise and compliments about Soonyoung behind his back, enough to make Junhui's ears bleed, but the minute Soonyoung is within hearing distance, he's all barbed words, prickly comments, the kind of quailing, bratty digs into Soonyoung's side that has him on edge the entire time. Minghao's complicated that way.

Then again, Soonyoung seems to pull people like that to his social sphere, like he magically attracts anyone with a mouth that Junhui's mother would love nothing more than to give a good scrub-down. Signs of masochism, Junhui guesses. Just look at Wonwoo and Jihoon.

"Love is all about acceptance," says Minghao, serenely.

 _Yeah, but he thinks he's been conned into infatuation_ , Junhui thinks, and doesn't say. There's a lot of things he's had to learn to curb his tongue over when it comes to those two, and mostly because Minghao gets into the worst of moods the entire time, to the point that he conjures actual rain clouds with his more mercurial temper and they follow him around everywhere like familiars, dripping water everywhere. Even Mingyu and Seokmin remember to give Minghao a wide, wide berth in the foulest of his moods, and that's saying something considering they all act like they're glued together more often than not.

Not that Soonyoung ever notices. For him, Minghao's just a little kid that way, moody and prone to temper tantrums when the arguing gets too much. Then he'll leave little bits of snacks on Minghao's desk to cheer him up, and it sets the entire cycle back to square one, Minghao's eyes brightening as quickly as the faintest bit of hope lights up in him.

It's… not a very good sight on him. Pining, Junhui means. It's the worst.

Junhui doesn't know what kind of face he must be making, too open and unable to keep things at bay, but it must be something a little sad, a little pitying, because Minghao rolls his eyes and bumps his shoulder against Junhui's.

"Relax, hyung," says Minghao. "You look like you're worried I'm gonna do something drastic like an idiot. I'm not Soonyoung-hyung, thanks."

"What does that even say about you, knowing you're in love with an idiot," says Junhui.

"It means I'm a very patient man," says Minghao. He plucks at the sleeve of his shirt, looking far shyer than Junhui's ever seen him. "I'm thinking of confessing to him soon, though. I feel like I'm gonna explode if I keep it in any longer."

"Good luck getting him to stay still long enough," says Junhui. "He'll never be able to look you in the eye if you do."

"Sounds like a challenge," says Minghao, eyes glinting.

"That wasn't a suggestion, by the way," says Junhui, warily.

"Too late," says Minghao. "Just wait, hyung. I'll sweep his feet off in no time, with or without magic."

 _I've created a monster_ , Junhui thinks. He groans and wonders how on earth he's going to explain this to Soonyoung.

 

 

It turns out he doesn't need to; the next day, Soonyoung lets out a screech rivaling Seungkwan and Seokmin's combined wailing the last time they got dared to hike out at the woods behind the school on a full moon, and Junhui almost drops the donut in his hands at the sound. Wonwoo looks up from his readings. _Jihoon_ actually stops napping long enough to squint at Soonyoung, crankier than worried over his plight.

"Somebody better be dead or dying," Jihoon threatens, "because if they're not, _you will be_."

"It's starting," Soonyoung wails.

Junhui and Wonwoo exchange a long-suffering look, but decide to humor Soonyoung instead. "What's starting?"

"The mind games," Soonyoung hisses. He holds up a crumpled piece of paper in his hand, the cute kind of stationary Junhui knows Mingyu's sister sends him every so often, the same kind Junhui knows Minghao isn't above stealing just because he can, and Junhui internally groans.

"Paranoia, Soonyoung," says Junhui. "We've talked about this before."

"He wrote me a note," Soonyoung splutters out. He keeps the paper pinched between his fingers and gives it a wide berth from his face, squinting at it like it's about to explode. "It says to meet him at the greenhouse after class ends."

Jihoon snorts under his breath. Wonwoo at least tries to hide his disparaging _flowers and allergies, gross_ behind a cough. Junhui kicks them both under the table.

"Okay," Junhui prompts him, when it's apparent Soonyoung has nothing more to say about the matter. "I'm confused. What's wrong with him wanting to talk to you?"

" _Everything_ ," Soonyoung says, looking at Junhui like _he's_ the insane one. _Junhui_.

"Soonyoung, you've talked to him lots of times. Alone." _Because you wanted to bother him like a little kid, but let's not get into that at the moment_ , he bites back. "He probably just wants to ask for homework help."

"Homework help?" Jihoon repeats. Junhui winces. Yeah, not exactly his most intelligent response, but it's increasingly harder to get Soonyoung to stay still long enough to start listening to other people drilling seemingly obvious truths into his skull.

"It has to be a letter of challenge," Soonyoung decides. Okay, not obvious enough.

"A duel in a _greenhouse_?" Wonwoo scoffs.

"It's the perfect crime scene," Soonyoung despairs. "Lots of foliage. Access to the dark woods. Half the flowers smell like rotting corpses. _A closet full of gardening tools_. He can just hit the back of my head with a shovel and call it a day."

"Sounds kinky," says Wonwoo. Soonyoung throws him a quailing look, but Wonwoo's practically immune to it by now, the same way everyone never really takes Jihoon's death threats seriously, or, apparently, Junhui's unsolicited, life-saving advice. "Does he need an accomplice? You know I'd never pass up an opportunity to kick your ass."

"Sign me up for it too," Jihoon mutters.

"I wish I had better friends that didn't wish me dead," says Soonyoung, looking up at the ceiling. "If Xu Minghao manages to desecrate my body in the greenhouse, this will all be your faults."

"No one wants to know what you do with or without your pants on, Soonyoung," says Jihoon. He covers Wonwoo's mouth with his palm. "Wonwoo, shut up."

"I wasn't gonna say anything," says Wonwoo, voice muffled. Jihoon still doesn't pull his hand back.

"Does this mean you're actually considering going," says Junhui.

Soonyoung looks genuinely conflicted. On one hand, Soonyoung talks a big game, but he's actually as big of a coward as Seungkwan and Seokmin. On the other hand, he's also a hypercompetitive idiot with barely any sense of self-preservation. Not that Soonyoung's going to be in any kind of danger close to whatever it is he's imagining right now— knowing Minghao, the only thing Junhui's even worried about is someone walking in on them while Minghao's trying to negotiate getting his hands past Soonyoung's robes and down his pants.

If they even get to that point. Positive thoughts, he tells himself. Clean, pure thoughts—

"Junhui, my favorite person in the world," wheedles Soonyoung, latching onto him, "please, please, _please_ come hide in the supply closet and make sure Minghao doesn't kill me."

— and, apparently, front-row tickets to the biggest train wreck of a confession in the world. Junhui honestly can't wait for this school year to be over. He's just so done.

"Why do you keep dragging me to these things again instead of those two," Junhui asks, meekly.

"I trust you more with my life," says Soonyoung.

"He's not wrong, you know," says Wonwoo.

"Congratulations on being Soonyoung's babysitter again," says Jihoon. Bastards.

"At least call me a white knight," Junhui mutters.

"If you keep Minghao off my back," says Soonyoung, "I'll call you anything you want."

"Call him babe, then," says Wonwoo, like the twisted, horrible person Soonyoung claims he is and Junhui is starting to realize merits some sprinkling of truth. "Even better if you say it in front of Minghao's face."

"Please don't," Junhui begs. "I still want to live."

"There's a thought," says Soonyoung. He smoothens out the stationary, and then folds it until it's nothing but a tiny square the size of his fingernail before pocketing it like he's contemplating something overly complicated in his head. "Do you think if I pretend to be dating you, Minghao won't actually kill me?"

"Have we forgotten all about _my_ personal safety here," Junhui wonders.

"You'll be fine," Soonyoung scoffs. "He likes you."

"He likes you too," says Junhui, flatly.

"Yeah right," says Soonyoung, with a snort. He picks up his bag from under the table and stands up. "Greenhouse after class, Junhui! Don't forget!"

"I tried," says Junhui, once Soonyoung's out of earshot. "I really, really did."

"That's okay," says Jihoon, with fake sympathy as he pets the top of Junhui's head. "If Soonyoung ends up doing something completely stupid later, I'll make sure I bring flowers to your funeral."

"Same," says Wonwoo.

Junhui hates his friends so much.

 

 

Junhui has divination in the afternoon with Minghao as an elective. On one hand, it's the only time he can even slack off in any paired projects, knowing how anal-retentive Minghao is about any and all kinds of group work, but on the other hand, it means having to sit through what feels like eternity trying vaguely to allude to whatever kind of idiotic shit Soonyoung may or may not be working out in his head.

Being vague, however, has obviously done nothing for him so far, so he decides to go for the direct approach. He blames it all on Jihoon.

"Soonyoung thinks you're going to kill him," says Junhui, as pleasantly as one could sound while trying not to hack out a lung when you're burning used rolls of parchment to try to make out some kind of vision that isn't mostly whiting out from all the secondhand smoke. "I have no idea how he managed to jump to that conclusion in the face of a Sanrio character, but there you go."

"What's Sanrio?" Minghao mutters, sticking his tongue out as he inspects the smoke. He looks strangely fascinated with the fire, like he wants to make it even bigger. Great. A budding pyromaniac. At least he and Soonyoung have more things in common now.

"Never mind," says Junhui, taking a deep breath. That turns out to be a bad idea, because he ends up inhaling more smoke and nearly hacks out a lung as a consequence. "He wants me to chaperone in case you end up stabbing him with something sharp and pointy."

"Interesting choice of words," says Minghao, raising his eyebrows. The edge of his smile is sharp, wolfish. Junhui regrets everything deeply. "See anything yet, hyung?"

"Nothing," says Junhui, despondently. Maybe that's a good sign, even. That means no brain-bleaching things to witness, if he's lucky. The optimism is slowly spiraling into fraying desperation by now. "Can you at least promise me to keep things PG-13 later?"

"I can't make promises I won't be able to keep," says Minghao, primly, like he isn't talking about the possible despoiling of one of Junhui's closest friends. Gross. If they end up making out _everywhere_ , Junhui's going to have to put his foot down and demand they at least save his room from the sacrilege.

"Stop that," says Junhui, shuddering. "Can't you go back to antagonizing him instead of being blatantly thirsty to my face?"

Minghao just laughs at his pain, though, and takes some pity on him as he pats the top of his head. "Don't worry, hyung," says Minghao. "I won't do anything drastic. Not if he doesn't want to, that is."

"Why do I feel like this will all blow up in _my_ face later," says Junhui.

"Shut up and focus on the fire, hyung," says Minghao, cheerfully.

Junhui sighs.

 

 

That nagging feeling of anxiety follows Junhui the rest of the day, so much so that he's considering holing himself up at the healer's just to stop the intense squirming of his insides, so unsettled it feels like they want to rearrange themselves and jump out of his throat.

"Is this what premonitions of death feel like," Junhui asks Jihoon.

"I wouldn't know," says Jihoon, shrugging. "Shouldn't you be used to it already, after hanging around Soonyoung so much?"

"He's up to something," says Junhui. "I can feel it."

"Isn't that a given considering he never showed up for class," says Jihoon.

"Oh god," says Junhui. Spontaneous delinquency is never a good sign around Soonyoung. "Please don't tell me he dragged Wonwoo along with him."

Jihoon doesn't say anything, for a beat. Junhui looks at him with increasingly wide eyes, dread pooling in his gut.

"Why are you being quiet," says Junhui, panic making his voice higher. "It's never a good thing when you're quiet. Say _something_ , Lee Jihoon."

"Okay," says Jihoon, serenely, wetting his lips. "I won't tell you he dragged Wonwoo with him."

"Fuck," says Junhui, already signing off his own death warrant. "He's gonna be the death of me. I can feel it."

"And you call Soonyoung paranoid." Jihoon just laughs at him, oblivious to his increasing terror. "Haven't we accepted this a long time ago?"

"If I die, tell my mom and dad I love them," says Junhui, seriously. He holds onto Jihoon's hand, lacing their fingers together even as Jihoon rolls his eyes, exasperated. "And tell my brother he can't have my room. I'd haunt him if he starts sleeping in it."

"It's a love confession from a junior," says Jihoon, dryly. He pries Junhui's fingers away, cruel as ever, much to Junhui's woe. Junhui whimpers. "What could possibly go wrong?"

So many things, apparently. Regret's never hounded Junhui so much.


	2. Chapter 2

Much to Junhui's intense relief, Soonyoung doesn't seem to want to follow through on the fake boyfriend route when they regroup after class. Junhui does, however, feel an intense need to run away when Soonyoung snags him away from an afternoon resolutely spent snacking on all the rice crackers he can steal from Chan; he wonders what it says about their friendship when no one in the hallway even bats an eyelash at Junhui making mournful noises the entire time, Seokmin even having the gall to wave cheerfully at both of them instead of swooping in to assist Junhui despite Junhui's wide-eyed, pleading look.

A school full of magically-adept kids, and yet none of them are mind readers. Useless.

Junhui's a little confused when Soonyoung redirects him towards the dorms, heading back to their shared room, and he blinks owlishly at Soonyoung shoving his own clothes at Junhui's chest in the process.

"I don't think these will fit me," says Junhui. He's hoping Soonyoung isn't going to go through his underwear drawer. Just. No.

"Not _yet_ ," says Soonyoung. He throws a snapback at Junhui's face, and Junhui grunts but closes his eyes long-sufferingly as it hits his nose. "Here, wear this too."

"Sometimes I keep trying to understand how your mind works and I never seem to be able to," says Junhui.

"We can't all be geniuses like me," says Soonyoung.

"Clearly," says Junhui, flatly.

The dead-eyed stare he gives Soonyoung turns into one of jittery anxiety when Soonyoung pulls out a thermos from his backpack, steam wafting out of it when he uncaps the lid. It could still be something harmless like coffee, he thinks. Absinthe. Maybe poison, if he's lucky.

"Here's the plan," says Soonyoung, oblivious to his internal conflict. "You drink this, and then you'll go meet Minghao instead of me."

"Please tell me you did _not_ skip class just to make a dangerous and _potentially illegal_ potion," says Junhui.

"It's not dangerous and illegal," says Soonyoung, as an afterthought. "I think."

"And you want _me_ to drink it?" Junhui deadpans. "What is it even supposed to _do_?"

"Wonwoo says it'll make you look like me," says Soonyoung, cheerfully. Junhui's already forming a hit list in his head, and Wonwoo's at the top of it already. "You can scope out the danger and sweet-talk him into, you know, trying not to kill me."

Junhui closes his eyes, and tries not to think murderous thoughts. "I think you should be more worried about my feelings towards _you_ than Minghao's."

"I can't do it, Jun," Soonyoung whines, clasping his palms together into a prayer and bowing his head, the meekest Junhui's ever seen him. "I'll definitely say something dumb and then next thing you know I'll be hexed into kingdom come! You _have_ to help me!"

"He's not gonna curse you!" Junhui's half-yelling by now. "He doesn't want you dead!"

"I don't trust myself to not do anything stupid," says Soonyoung. "What if I suddenly feel the urge to attack him? Do you want to see me punch him? _With my mouth_?"

"Oh my god," says Junhui, wondering why no one is putting him out of his misery just yet. "I don't think he'll mind it as much as you think he would if you do."

"But _I_ would," says Soonyoung. He bites his lower lip, looking up at Junhui with the kind of puppy dog eyes he, Seungkwan and Seokmin have diabolically developed for evil purposes like guilt-tripping their friends into doing their bidding. "Come on, Junhui, take one for the team!"

"There _is_ no love potion," Junhui chants, for the nth time in the past few days. "The sooner you can accept this, the quicker we can move on with our lives and _not involve me in these crazy ideas_."

Soonyoung scowls. "Just drink the damn thing already, Wen Junhui!"

It's a bit of a struggle to try to shove Soonyoung away from clawing at his face, but Junhui has the height and build over Soonyoung and manages to trap him under his weight later, the thermos carefully pried out of Soonyoung's dangerous grip. Soonyoung makes a mournful noise in his throat as Junhui peers down at him with the most menacing frown he can muster— there are very few times Junhui runs out of patience, and today is one of them.

"Just give up and accept your fate, Soonyoung," says Junhui. "And if you end up making kissy faces at Minghao the whole time, at least have the decency to do it where I can't see you."

"Over my dead body," says Soonyoung, affronted. He clenches his fingers into a fist, bracing himself.

He sounds so petulant about it, Junhui doesn't really get it. As much as he _doesn't_ wanna think about Minghao squirreling his way into Soonyoung's pants, there's a point where he just can't help but feel a little sorry for Minghao that Soonyoung seems to be absolutely, irrevocably against the _idea_ of romance.

" _Honestly_ , what is so wrong with even entertaining the thought that it might not be that bad to _like_ Minghao?" Junhui asks, digging his weight into Soonyoung's back. Soonyoung squawks. "Be careful with your answer or I'll make _you_ drink this instead."

"It's not gonna do anything if it's supposed to make you look like _me_ ," Soonyoung protests.

"Wanna try it out?" Soonyoung stops squirming. "Thought so."

Soonyoung grits his teeth, and throws Junhui a baleful look not unlike one of Jihoon's cats, the ones that constantly find anyone and everyone annoying. "Junhui, if you even _cared_ about Minghao, you wouldn't let me do this."

"That isn't as effective a threat as you think it is," says Junhui.

"It's just _weird_ , okay?" Soonyoung mopes. "Every time I look at Minghao, he's just supposed to be this bratty kid that keeps mouthing off and getting pissy when he thinks I'm ignoring him, but then he started being _cute_ and I can't _handle that_ , okay?"

"Doesn't sound like my problem," says Junhui, loftily.

"But it is!" Soonyoung insists. "What if I end up screwing it up, and then it'll be awkward between us, and you'll have to choose Minghao when we're in some weird divorce-like limbo after a couple of months and then we'll _never talk to each other ever again_ ," he finishes, wailing into his palms with something that Junhui's only half-certain is fake, despite the wobbling of his lip and the tears pricking at his eyes. Junhui should know. He's taught Soonyoung to fake his way out of anything.

Still, he knows he's fucked when he can feel that familiar swoop of guilt in his stomach, aching and tender. He looks at Soonyoung's face, pouting and worried, and thinks that maybe he can understand what it is Minghao feels, when he sometimes looks at Soonyoung, like he can't understand his complexity, his unexpectedness.

"… You have _got_ to stop hanging out with Wonwoo," says Junhui, instead. "His cynicism is rubbing off on you."

"I can't promise that if you desert me for a junior," Soonyoung mumbles.

"I'm not gonna abandon you for Minghao, idiot," says Junhui, fondly patting him on the cheek as he gets up to let Soonyoung breathe.

Soonyoung perks up. "So does that mean you'll drink it?"

"I can't believe you think I'm an idiot, Soonyoung," Junhui scoffs.

Soonyoung's eyes glint, bright and foreboding. Junhui should have known better than to trust him.

 

 

When Junhui first met Soonyoung in their freshman year, he'd thought Soonyoung was a perfectly nice, normal boy — a little lost and vulnerable in the face of all the new things around him, but that was par for the course for anyone who didn't grow up around magic. Junhui figured, that in the face of being classmates with people like Lee Jihoon or Jeon Wonwoo, who were from intimidatingly old families in the whole magic business that Soonyoung would be fairly harmless, one of the few spots of hope Junhui could find when he needed a minute to breathe and filter out all the pressure from expectations and the shaky promise of a future.

Turns out, Soonyoung's a far more ice-cold, ambitious brat than anyone gives him credit for, less soft to the touch and more dangerous than Jihoon or Wonwoo. He's a reckless idiot, true, but Junhui's at least fifty percent confident Jihoon wouldn't stab him in the back for his own self-preservation; Wonwoo helping Soonyoung pin Junhui down when he least suspects him, though, he attributes to Soonyoung.

"Traitor," he yells. "Sell out! How could you, Jeon Wonwoo?"

Wonwoo shrugs. "Soonyoung said he'd do my homework for the rest of the year."

He hates Soonyoung so much.

"I can't believe I'm an actual idiot," Junhui concludes, half an hour later after Soonyoung's force-fed the contents of the thermos down his throat. He's in a body that feels too alien, too unlike his own, and it would be cool if Junhui weren't fuming with the indignation of a thousand fiery suns. Soonyoung and Wonwoo don't deserve all the birthday gifts he's gotten them since they were freshmen. He'll _never_ give them anything nice ever again.

"I can't believe you let your guard down enough to think I'm above cheating," says Soonyoung, smoothing down his robes on Junhui. Junhui gives Soonyoung his best impression of Soonyoung's face post-exam week, staring with dead eyes into the distance and praying for the sweet embrace of death to come before he gets the first hypothetical failing mark of his life. "Can't you smile a bit more? You look like you're preparing to go to your funeral."

If Minghao realizes what they're both up to, Junhui might as well. He hopes Jihoon realizes that he wasn't exactly joking when he said his piece earlier.

"How long does it take before I turn back again," says Junhui.

"Um," says Soonyoung, faltering.

"What was that 'um' for," says Junhui. "You're not supposed to _not_ know."

"Probably a few hours?" Soonyoung says, shame-faced. "I think."

" _Kwon fucking Soonyoung_ —"

"It'll be fine," says Soonyoung, hastily. Junhui hates how he can't even tower over Soonyoung anymore, but at least he's at eye-level enough to not be above trying to knee Soonyoung in the stomach. "Jeeze, don't worry about it! You'll be back to normal tomorrow, trust me."

"You've lost the right to be trustworthy when you drugged me against my will," says Junhui.

"Isn't forgiveness what friendship is all about?"

"Fuck you."

"Love you too," says Soonyoung, patting his cheek patronizingly. "Now, you remember what to do in case Minghao actually tries to maim you with his wand, right?"

Junhui makes an unhappy noise at the back of his throat. "With his _wand_ ," Junhui chokes out, already having visions of the trauma. If only Soonyoung knew.

"You're pretty good with defensive magic, so you should be fine," says Soonyoung, breezily, ignoring his increasing despair and distress. "If he tries anything else, I'll be hiding in the closet to back you up."

It's far from a comforting thought. Junhui makes another wounded noise, scrunching his— Soonyoung's— face up. He really _does_ look like a tiny, woodland creature, jeeze. It's like sending a live rabbit to its doom, straight into the predatory jaws of a starving wolf. The horror.

"Don't be a baby, Junnie-yah," Soonyoung coos, like he wasn't begging Junhui to take his place earlier. Hypocrite. "Ready for this, Jun?"

"Never," says Junhui.

"Perfect," says Soonyoung, cheery as ever. "Let's go."

 

 

"Soonyoung-hyung? Are you here?"

It takes a minute for Junhui to snap out of his vacant stare at the section of the greenhouse closed off from students, right where the man-eating plants are. He's been contemplating wandering into one of the flowers 'accidentally', if only to get him out of his misery, but he has to remind himself that it's not worth fucking himself over just yet. _Think of Minghao_ , he mutters to himself. _Think of the potential trauma_.

Then he remembers Soonyoung's gleeful face and promptly thinks dark, foreboding thoughts all over again. It's a vicious cycle.

"I'm here," he calls out, right after Soonyoung starts making weird, jerky hand motions at him when he's silent for a beat too long. Soonyoung points at his wand, mouthing at him to _get ready in case he jumps you, idiot, don't say I didn't warn you_ but Junhui ignores him, rolling his eyes. He's not too scared about Minghao possibly cursing him any time soon, not with Soonyoung's body.

If anything, he's more worried about Minghao doing other things to him, and not the kind Junhui's remotely prepared for, not in the slightest. Seriously, fuck Soonyoung so hard.

Minghao steps into view, barely making any noise. "It's a miracle you aren't late," says Minghao, dryly. He looks around. "No bodyguards around this time? Where's Jun-hyung?"

"Left him in the dining area," Junhui lies through his teeth. Soonyoung flashes him a thumbs up from his hiding spot a few feet away, right behind the shrubbery. Junhui hopes a snake slithers up to him and bites his ankle just because. He hides his clenched fists into his pockets, hoping it passes off as indifference instead of frustration. "What did you want to talk about?"

Minghao laughs, bright and bubbly. "You don't have to look so scared, hyung," he teases. "I'm not gonna eat you."

 _Lies_ , he thinks, watching how Minghao's smirk is just a _bit_ too crooked to be anything but innocent. _You totally want to eat him up_.

 _I told you he wanted to kill me_ , Soonyoung mouths. Junhui ignores him, too busy contemplating how on earth _Minghao_ is flirting with him, in Soonyoung's body. It hurts his head just thinking about it.

"Well, if there's nothing _urgent_ we _have_ to talk about, couldn't we just get out of here and talk in front of everyone else?" Junhui desperately attempts to steer him away to the exit. Anywhere else if only Minghao will spare them all the embarrassment.

He grabs onto Minghao's arm, and feels Minghao stiffen under his touch, before sinking into the touch. Oh god. Bad idea. Now Minghao looks all sorts of _hungry_ , and it's making Junhui feel even more awkward in Soonyoung's skin.

 _Wake up! I'm not Soonyoung_ , he tries to signal Minghao. Minghao doesn't seem to get it, eyes just turning soft and glazed over. God. Is this how Minghao looks at Soonyoung all the time when they're alone and not going at each other's throats? How is Soonyoung not a puddle of goo yet? Junhui feels like his face is going to erupt into flames from the embarrassingly heated look Minghao gives him, and _he's_ supposed to be the bystander in this situation.

An idiot, Junhui concludes, tugging at his arm again. God, this was so much easier when he was bigger and had more leeway to boss Minghao around. Being Soonyoung sucks.

Unfortunately, Minghao doesn't budge. If anything, he seems to mistake the touch for something else entirely. To Junhui's increasing horror, Minghao touches his knuckles with careful, tentative fingers, right before locking their hands together.

"Later," says Minghao. "We can just hang out with everyone else after this."

"Yeah, but I'm starving," says Junhui, trying to pry his hand away. It doesn't work. "Do you want some custard buns? We can steal some from Jihoonie, maybe get Wonwoo to give us some snacks—"

"Who cares about those two," says Minghao, voice taking an exasperated, irritated edge that has the alarm bells ringing in Junhui's head. He puts his hands on his shoulders, keeping him in place. Junhui just wants to crawl away. "Listen—"

"I really think we should think about our stomachs first, Minghao—"

Minghao furrows his brows, frowning. "God, I forgot how bad you were at listening, hyung."

"It's called a short attention span," Junhui jokes, weakly. Minghao doesn't crack a smile. "The hunger is making my head ache. _Really_."

"I'll feed you everything you want later," says Minghao, testily, but closes his eyes, as if trying to remind himself not to snap. Junhui hopes he does. He's really, really counting on his short temper to break the overly-sappy mood that's making Junhui's skin crawl all over. "Soonyoung-hyung," says Minghao, taking a deep, determined breath. Oh no. "I need to tell you something."

"Whatever it is," says Junhui, wondering if the panic in his voice is as obvious on his face, "I'm sure you can say it later."

"No," says Minghao, stubborn as ever. "Hyung, I—"

"Minghao, let's not do anything stupid and take a moment to _think_ —"

 _RUN_ , Soonyoung mouths from a distance, looking like he's itching to storm out and drag Junhui away from Minghao's clutches. _ABORT MISSION, ABORT_ —

"I love you, Soonyoung-hyung," Minghao blurts out, determined and looking so impossibly young Junhui wants to Die. He takes a step closer, biting his lower lip. He's looking at Junhui's mouth like he's planning to do unspeakable things to it, Junhui just wants to bleach his brain and scrub his eyes out to never, _ever_ witness it again. "Please be my boyfriend."

A heavy weight falls a few feet away, leaves and branches rustling from the movement. Minghao and Junhui freeze up, eyes darting to the side. Soonyoung's flat on the ground, frozen in place, caught. Minghao's jaw drops even wider.

"Holy shit," says Soonyoung, gaping at both of them. "What did you just say?"

"Soonyoung-hyung?" Minghao squeaks. He looks at Junhui, who mirrors his wide-eyed panic. "How—"

"If you just listened to me," Junhui says, dully, "we wouldn't even be in this mess, Soonyoung-ah."

And that's how he ends up being held hostage in a greenhouse, witnessing the shittiest love confession in the world. He hates his friends so, so much.

 

 

**how it ends:**

 

 

"So," Soonyoung concludes, looking at Minghao as he bites his lip. "You were going to kiss me."

"You, not me," Junhui affirms. Minghao throws him a quailing scowl, one that has Junhui scooting back. "Shutting up now."

"Yeah," says Minghao, shifting uncomfortably in place. The thing about Minghao is that he tends to get very skittish and nervous when everything he plans beforehand doesn't fall into place, and now that Junhui's single-handedly ruined his romantic confession for him, Junhui figures he should sleep with one eye open from now on. "That was the plan."

"And," Soonyoung continues, slowly, "You asked me to be your boyfriend." He swallows the lump in his throat. "You said you loved me."

"I do," says Minghao, sounding small. Soonyoung doesn’t say anything else after that, just continues staring at him like he doesn't know what to do with that information just yet. God, this is what he gets for being friends with idiots, he thinks.

"Please just put him out of his misery, Soonyoung!" Junhui yells.

It takes Minghao a few seconds to compose himself, but from the look on his face, Junhui makes a mental note to give him a wide berth for a few days, at least until they straighten themselves out.

He's only glad to make his escape, scurrying out of the greenhouse while Soonyoung and Minghao look at each other in awkward, strained silence. Something tells him that it's better if they sort it out without anyone else hovering, much less _him_ , and he ends up wailing about it to Jihoon over dinner, all while kicking an unrepentant Wonwoo under the table.

"You can only help them so much," says Jihoon, sagely. "If they want to start dating, it's up to them." He squints down at his noodles, trying to pick out the green onions. "Though honestly, if I were Minghao, I'd dump Soonyoung's ass already."

"What if I ended up making things worse for them," Junhui wonders, stricken with guilt. "What if Soonyoung's right? What if I end up in divorce limbo with both of them and never talk to him again?"

"Shouldn't you be more angry at Soonyoung he even roped you into this mess?" Jihoon asks.

"Yeah, but," Junhui closes his mouth. He looks at the ceiling. "Minghao really likes him, you know."

"God only knows why," Wonwoo mutters.

"Soonyoung's misguided but he means well," says Junhui, ignoring Wonwoo. "He doesn't know any better."

"Do you even hear yourself right now?" Jihoon asks with a sigh.

Honestly, Junhui _knows_ he should, on all accounts, try to steer Minghao as far away from Soonyoung after the disastrous incident, but there's parts of him that are a bit too invested in his friends. It's been a long time coming, after all, with or without Soonyoung's harebrained schemes. One way or another, it would have come to a head, and if anyone asks Junhui, honestly, he has no idea if he can even say with confidence it was going to come without a struggle. Soonyoung and Minghao, they're both very difficult people at heart, callous in different ways, insensitive, and Junhui's always been like water between them, dampening the licks of fire at their worst. He doesn't know how anything between the two of them could be easy.

Still. He's always been a romantic at heart. He thinks about Minghao, sneaking peeks at Soonyoung in between breaks with an aching sense of longing. He thinks of Soonyoung hiding his face behind his hands, red and flustered like he doesn't know what to do with himself, feelings of like- _like_ fresh and new, alien. It doesn't—

It doesn't feel right that it'll end up in heartbreak, that's all.

Whatever it is that must be on his face, Jihoon seems to read it easily. "You can't help everyone, Junhui," he says, nonchalant as he steals bits of chicken and rice off of Junhui's plate. "Sometimes you need to let other people work out things on their own."

"I know that," says Junhui, after a beat. He looks at his fingers, clenched around his bowl. "Do you think Minghao's murdered Soonyoung in cold blood by now?"

"If we're lucky, he'll still be in one piece," says Jihoon, with a deep sigh. "It'll be fine. They'll work it out. Trust me."

"Last time I trusted anyone, I ended up trapped in someone else's body," says Junhui.

"True," says Jihoon, "but you've always been an optimist, haven't you?"

Junhui sighs, and finishes the rest of his meal in silence, belly full and heart heaving. One thing's for sure, though: this whole romance thing really sucks.

 

 

Something stumbles into Junhui's dorm room at half-past one in the morning, and Junhui takes a few unimpressive seconds to roll off of his bed and onto the floor, barely managing to grab onto his wand in the process.

"Oh my god," says Junhui, squinting up at Soonyoung, "you're alive. Or are you just haunting me from the grave?"

"You think if I died, you'd be the first one I'd haunt?" Soonyoung asks. He hauls Junhui off of the floor and back into his own bed, smoothing down the comforter. "I'd scare Wonwoo's scrawny ass first, thanks."

"That's good to hear," says Junhui, still wondering if he's just dreaming this whole thing. It feels very, very surreal. He scans Soonyoung from head to toe, and promptly wishes he hadn't. "Why do you look like you've been _mauled_ to hell and back? Are those _hickeys_?"

"You never told me Minghao was a biter," says Soonyoung, rolling his eyes. Junhui makes a distressed noise in his throat, and Soonyoung's ears turn pink. "What? Shouldn't you be happy he hasn't killed me instead?"

"There are things I never wanted to know about Minghao," Junhui wails. "You've ruined his innocence, Kwon Soonyoung."

"If anyone's doing the ruining, it's that brat," Soonyoung mutters. Junhui lets out another incoherent squawk and tries to kick Soonyoung off his bed. "Jeeze, and here I thought I'd give you the good news first instead of turning you into an insomniac."

"I was about to go to sleep," Junhui lies. He's not gonna tell Soonyoung he's been thinking up all sorts of horribly depressing scenarios the entire night. He's _not_. "Who cares about your stupid ass?"

Soonyoung opens his mouth, but whatever scathing remark he has vanishes as quickly as it comes when he peers closer to inspect Junhui's face. "Have you been _crying_?" Soonyoung asks, delighted.

"No," says Junhui, mulishly. "Shut up!"

"You're such a sap, Wen Junhui," Soonyoung coos. He pinches Junhui's cheek, and Junhui feebly tries to swat him away, but it's useless. Soonyoung's always been stronger than he looks. "Were you _that_ worried about me?"

"I was more worried about Minghao's criminal record," says Junhui.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night," says Soonyoung, loftily. He curls up against Junhui, spooning him. "Minghao's forgiven you already, by the way. I told him it was all my fault."

"Finally confessing to your crimes?" Junhui says, snidely. Soonyoung pinches his side. "I hope Minghao's finally realizing what a horrible person you are."

"I know you're only saying this because you suffered undue trauma from your little brother figure trying to make out with you," says Soonyoung, "but that's okay. He's fairly easy to persuade. It's weird. I used to get a headache trying to wrangle him into doing anything before, but now he's a lot more pliant, I'm not used to it."

"You're using your powers for evil," says Junhui. "Please don't make him suffer too much. I like that kid."

"Shouldn't you be giving _him_ the shovel talk instead?"

"I'm honestly more concerned about _you_ abusing his crush, but whatever."

"It's not a crush," says Soonyoung, looking far too overjoyed that Junhui wants to barf but also feels bad about bursting his bubble. Young love. Ugh. "He said he _loves_ me."

"I always knew love confessions would inflate your ego," says Junhui. "I should have warned Minghao."

"We'll be that grossly PDA couple in your face," Soonyoung threatens. "You'll never get rid of us now."

"You're contractually obligated to never break up now," says Junhui. Soonyoung laughs, but Junhui scowls at him. "I'm serious! You can't make me choose."

"Not even a day old and yet here we are thinking depressing thoughts," Soonyoung scoffs. His eyes turn soft and warm, sleepy as he stifles a yawn. "Don't worry, Wen Junhui. I'm not gonna break your little brother's heart."

 _I hope he doesn't break yours, too_ , Junhui thinks, as he waits for Soonyoung's breathing to even out into slumber.

For what it's worth, he hopes it lasts. He's always been a romantic, after all.

 

 

 

 

 

"New rule," says Wonwoo, putting his bag down on the table. "No desecrating the food when we're eating. I don't wanna lose my lunch watching you two suck each other's faces off."

The passing juniors look at him warily, flustered by his imposing glare. No one in the immediate vicinity pays him any mind, except for Soonyoung, who just rolls his eyes.

"Don't be gross, Wonwoo," says Soonyoung, scrunching his nose up. "It was only a peck!"

"Still enough to make me barf," says Wonwoo. He glares down at Minghao's fingers on Soonyoung's thigh, proprietary. "Hands up and over the waist, too, kid."

"Make me," says Minghao. Wonwoo lets out an aggrieved sigh.

"This is all your fault," he tells Junhui.

"For the record, I'd like to state that any contribution I've made to this relationship is purely incidental and against my will," says Junhui, long-since numbed to the idea of Minghao and Soonyoung doing things beyond handholding. He's walked in on them far too many times that he's seriously considering filing a petition for more stringent rules in the dorms, maybe even request for a different roommate. Mingyu and Seokmin don't understand his suffering, not when Minghao ends up sleeping over and sexiling Junhui more often than not. "Also, this shrimp is too bland. Can you guys pass me the chili sauce?"

Wonwoo throws his hands up, defeated, and Minghao hands Junhui the chili sauce bottle with his free hand. All things considered, though, they've been tamer in front of Wonwoo and Jihoon than they are in Junhui's face. It hasn't stopped Jihoon from suddenly spending more and more time eating in the library in secret or hanging around Seungcheol, Jeonghan and Jisoo instead. Relationships are all about give and take, and apparently so are friendships.

Right now, though, Jihoon is studiously ignoring all of them, head bowed in front of the homework he's cramming. Wonwoo frowns, bereft of his usual supporting voice of reason.

"I hope when I date someone, you're going to suffer too," says Wonwoo, to Soonyoung.

"Don't be too bitter about love, Wonwoo," says Soonyoung, sticking out his tongue. Minghao pinches his side, keeping him in check. " _Ow_."

"Be nice, hyung," says Minghao, amiably. "No making fun of your friends if you don't want them to kill you."

"I like him better," Wonwoo decides. "Why are you going out with Soonyoung again?"

Junhui sighs, tuning out Soonyoung squabbling with Wonwoo, Minghao interjecting and grabbing the back of Soonyoung's shirt down to keep him from lunging forward and strangling Wonwoo. "Remember when the most exciting thing that happened to this table was Soonyoung complaining about Minghao all the time?" He asks Jihoon. "Can we go back to that, please?"

"You were the one who got them together, not me," says Jihoon, with a hint of a smirk. "Suck it up, Mr. Matchmaker."

"Of all the idiots, it had to be them," says Junhui.

"You love those idiots being in love," Jihoon points out.

"Yeah," says Junhui, defeated but fond. "I guess I do."


End file.
